I hate all girls vehemently.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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