You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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