am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this will be a night to untag.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
