i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
