Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
