Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
