Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
