I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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