Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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