She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
