they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she smelled like a LAN party
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
