the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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