He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
