I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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