Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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