just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Send help, water and tortillas.
This is my gift to your gina
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
