I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
