Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
