Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
