im having a threesome with these popsicles
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
