Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The Olympian is in my bed
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