Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
