i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize