if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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