oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
