You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
