:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
