First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
