the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
