turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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