Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
