Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
