gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
