Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
wow bdsm is so cute
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
