just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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