She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
