I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
