OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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