Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
