Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
