I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
