butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
