We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
