On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
