got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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