My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
