You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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