I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
