I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
