I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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