i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
