you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
