Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
